Levels of Anxiety

I recently talked to a counselor, and she explained to me that there are different levels of stress, from 1-10, that everyone has. She compared it to the pain scale at the doctor's office or hospital when they ask you to rate your level of pain. She said that I probably never get below a 3, at least not when I am with people or in public. The normal range that people can tolerate is between 3 and 7 and that range is where things are bothering me, but I am pushing through and trying to deal with things and having various levels of success. Above 7 is where things start getting really hard to handle and 9-10 is where I just can't take in anything anymore and I have to get a break from everything in order to bring my levels down to a manageable level again. I have been to level 9 and possibly 10 before and things have been bad enough that those lasted for long periods of time. Usually this means that I end up with uncontrollable crying and I need quiet and alone time, or a specific distraction, in order to lower my stress levels.

Different things, or anxiety triggers, bring different levels of stress and sometimes the same trigger can bring a different level of stress depending on other factors or my brain strength and stability on that day. The length of time that I have to deal with a trigger can also change the level to which my stress reaches. For example: going to the grocery store or Walmart is something that I do regularly, and it isn't a problem for me. But there was a time that I was going thru a lot of stress in my life, and it had a big impact on my mental strength, and I ended up with panic attacks when I went to Walmart, even when there wasn't excessive noise or large crowds. My brain and body just struggled more than normal because instead of walking in at a low anxiety level and having the level increase a small bit and still be in the tolerable zone, I was walking in at the top of the tolerable zone and the little increase sent me over the top into the overwhelming zone where panic attacks happen.

Also, a while back my car started making an occasional noise that was a metal scraping sound. I found out that it was the brake indicator and that my brake pads were low. The sound became more frequent, and the noise went from annoying to disturbing my brain. I made an appointment with a mechanic, but before the appointment happened, I did a few errands for myself around town and then some with a friend in my car one day. All totaled I spent several hours and traveled over 100 miles with that noise happening on and off the whole time. By the end of the day, it went from an annoyance to a serious anxiety trigger which also increased my sensitivity in my other senses, like my eyes. My friend was driving, but I was having to use my sunglasses at night to deal with the headlights from the oncoming traffic. The noise sent me into sensory overload and impacted my ability to function normally. When we got to my friend's house to drop them off, I was unfit to be able to drive the few miles home. We spent some time outside in the quiet, talking and resting and I was able to pull myself together to be able to drive home and by that time I had also pulled out my earplugs to deal with the noise. The earplugs don't block everything, but they lower the volume and sometimes certain frequencies are cut out and the sound from the brake indicator was almost completely cut out by the earplugs. The problem with trying to use them earlier when with my friend is that it is hard to carry on a conversation while wearing earplugs. I can hear and understand the other person just fine, but my own voice echos inside my skull, making it many times louder to me than it is to everyone else around me.

Just because something or someone is or can be an anxiety trigger to me doesn't mean that I automatically hate it or them. I can still be around the triggers; I just need ways to deal with these triggers. There are people that I spend a lot of time with on a regular basis, voluntarily, and they know that I can get overwhelmed by noise, but I find ways to deal with the noise and they try to remember to be considerate about their volume levels when possible. Most people have their TV volume set at a higher level that what I do at home. They also talk louder than I do. That is where I use my earplugs when around them when I start to get overwhelmed by the noise. I can also take breaks from the noise, especially when they live on a quiet farm where nature sounds flourish outside. There are also other methods that I can use. One thing the counselor said when she explained the levels of stress to me is that I need to be more aware of where my stress levels is while I am the tolerable zone and do things to keep myself from reaching the overwhelming zone. I am so used to just pushing through while in the tolerable zone that the overwhelming zone can take me by surprise because I am not preparing myself for it or taking steps to keep myself from getting there, especially if I am trying to adjust to new coping methods when other coping methods have kept me out of the overwhelming zone without me having to think much about it.