Stimming and Sensory Overload

First off, I probably need to define what stimming is, since it is a term that I was not familiar with before learning that I was an Aspie and most of you might not know what it means either. Stimming is self-stimulating behaviors, usually involving repetitive movements or sounds. This can manifest in different ways for everyone. Some stims are easier to hide than others and some are more socially acceptable than others. Almost everyone has done stimming behavior, but NTs do it for different reasons than Autistics and Aspies do it. Autistics and Aspies use it to help regulate our emotions (both good and bad feelings), stay calm and keep us grounded as we take in and try to process all the information in the overwhelming world around us.

Most of my stimming would fall into the category of fidgeting. There are lots of toys that can be used for stimming, and I had a few of them already, even before my discovery that I was an Aspie. They are usually pretty cheap, and they are becoming more popular all the time. Most of these toys have been around for a long while already, but their functionality in helping Autistics and Aspies has been a more recent discovery. I have fidget toys that I keep with me and until now I have tried to let it fall under the disguise of having toys for the kids that I sit with at church to play with. Now, everyone will know the real reason why I have them, but I will always let the kids play with my fidget toys and I sometimes bring extra so that more than one kid can play with them at the same time. Every once in a while, I will find something new to add to my collection. An Aspie can never have too many fidget toys.

Below is a picture of a sample of my fidget/stim toy collection. Most of these stay at home while some of them travel with me everywhere I go, just in case I need them.

I also use jewelry as fidget toys, like long dangling necklaces and there are even fidget rings available, and I have a few of those. I also have necklaces with silicone beads that are safe for chewing, which is great for when I am taking care of babies who are teething, but I have personally tested the chewability of the necklaces, though not in public. Some autistics might need the oral stimuli of chewing on things like this. We all have different methods of stimming, and we need different types of stimuli while we mentally process the world around us.

Sensory overload is what happens when we are in a situation and our senses are taking in information faster than our brain can process it. This can happen in a crowd of people or in a new place or situation. This happens to me frequently at large church fellowships where there are hundreds of people and I have to make choices and take in all that is going on around me. I personally find it a whole lot easier when I just have a few people to focus on, like a specific family that I am helping with and sitting with. This helps me center my attention on them and push everything else into the background of my mind. If I don't have a specific person or family to focus on, then nothing gets pushed to the background and everything is in the forefront, and I get overwhelmed trying to process everything.

Even when I am with a small group of people, or even with just one person, I am often doing something with my hands while I am listening to conversation. I can also be looking at other things while they are talking. This doesn't mean that I am not listening to them, it just means that I need visual stimuli while I am listening, since making eye contact during conversations is hard and awkward for me. Sometimes I am not even comprehending much about what I am looking at, I just need something to look at. Having other things to look at helps me to be able to listen better to what the other people are saying and helps me to process the information.

I know that a lot of Aspies and Autistics have problems going to church and dealing with the large numbers of people in the church services. I have found a few ways to cope with that. I have families that I help with and sit with. I am the "at-church babysitter" for a couple of families, one (elementary school ages) during the church services, especially while the parents are busy doing pastoral and music ministry things, and the other (preschool ages) during choir practice and other times when nursery services are not available. This helps center my focus away from the hundreds of people and conversations around me. I also arrive fairly early to services. This partly comes from habit from being raised in a pastor's family and always needing to be early for church, but it also gives me time to settle into the building and choose a seat before the majority of the crowd arrives. This gets the major decision making done before the crowd comes in and that makes it a bit easier for me to handle the rest of what my senses are taking in as the auditorium fills up with people.

Going to visit a new church or to a concert or other big event can also create sensory overload. There has to be a really good reason for me to push myself to go thru this because I know how hard it will be for me to handle. I have a handful of things/people that will make it worth it to go thru the sensory overload and I have done it a few times, but I still have to give myself a mental pep talk beforehand sometimes. These few exceptions include people that I am familiar with that I can focus on so that I can block out most everything else, and/or things that I already know to what to expect, so there is at least some predictability there even in the unpredictability of everything else, like the crowd of strangers around me.

Stimming can help get thru these times of sensory overload, but sometimes it is easier to fit stimming into a stressful situation than at other times, depending on the circumstances. This can impact how well we are able to control our emotions and our ability to process the information our senses are taking in. Sometimes we just need to get out of the situation so that we can breathe and give our brains a break for a while and possibly stim without worrying about people seeing and possibly judging us. It is also a big help to have friends that we know are okay with our stimming and they understand what we are doing and why. I have been in situations before where I was dealing with sensory overload and a friend has asked me if I needed to step out and get a breather to deal with things. It is a great help to have friends who can see and understand when we are struggling the most and they offer the help that we need, which may just be the encouragement that we need to take care of our own needs.