Repetition, Routine, and Predictability

Most Aspies thrive on routine and repetition. We can do the same thing every day and still enjoy it. Some eat the same 3 meals every day all year long. Some of us drive the same route to and from work every day even when there are multiple options that take the same amount of time. My brother told me once that he had a job for a few months that was almost an hour from his house one way. He drove every single variation of route that he could find to keep his commute from being too boring. My dad would often take detours on random back roads "just to see where it goes". This was before GPS was commonly used. All we had were paper maps if we got lost on one of his detours. These are things that Aspies like me find very hard to do. I find one route to use and maybe have an alternate on hand in case of traffic problems, but that is as far as I usually go for variety.

Changing things up takes a lot brain energy and sometimes we just can't afford that cost too often. If there is too much uncertainty in a task that is in front of us, that can increase our anxiety levels. Sometimes we can afford a little change, but often we need advanced notice so that we can mentally prepare for the change of schedule. I have times in my week when I know from past experience that there is a chance of a certain type of activity happening last minute and if I am aware of that fact, it allows me to be prepared for the change of plans. If I am not mentally prepared for a change of plans, I will most likely turn down an invitation to do something last minute, unless I am in a really good mental state.

I enjoy a job entails doing pretty much the same thing every day. I have had coworkers ask me in the past if I really want to stay where I am and not move up the ranks or find a different line of work, because they found the job boring and they didn't stay at the job for very long. I have discovered that I don't want to move up the ranks because the extra responsibilities that comes with that would drive my anxiety levels up and I don't want to deal with the extra stress in my life. I was really good at my job and I enjoyed it, so I didn't see any advantage to stepping out into something that I might not enjoy or be good at. At my job, I knew what was expected of me and I knew how to schedule my day out depending on what is available. This gave me stability and predictability. If too much unexpected stuff gets thrown into the mix that I am not prepared for, it can throw my mind into a whirlwind and it makes it hard to think thru anything sometimes. My mind starts to go 20 different directions at once and I can get so confused and overwhelmed that my brain can't handle it anymore.

We also have problems putting ourselves into situations where we might not fully understand what is going on and we are not wanting to embarrass ourselves in front of others. Starting a new type of task or project or hobby in the presence of others before we fully understand and have mastered it can be very stressful. If you were to suggest a new game to me that I had never played before or a game that I knew didn't favor my skill set. I would not want to play it, at least not right away. I don't want to show my vulnerabilities to someone who might make fun of me or think of me in a less than favorable way if I don't do something right. Just the thought of possibly embarrassing myself can give me anxiety. Some people like making people laugh, even at their own expense. That is not me and I have found that a lot of other Aspies feel the same way.

Going to new restaurants and trying new things can be stressful, especially when in a group and trying to handle conversation at the same time as trying to make a choice. Sometimes a coping mechanism is to look up the menu online beforehand and decide on a choice ahead of time so that it frees up our mind to deal with everything else when we get to the restaurant with our friends. If we happen to forget to plan ahead for this, it might take a bit more brain energy than we were planning on having to use, but hopefully we are with friends who will help us out a bit and be considerate.