Popular as an Aspie

All of my life I have always been shy and very introverted. I never was outgoing, and I was never popular among my peers. I knew that I was different from everyone else but didn't know until recently how or why I was different, and I was afraid to be noticeably different than everyone else because they would judge me based on that. People saw me and some knew me, but very few wanted to hang around with me. I have been fine as a loner and observer from the sidelines, and I am very independent, so I managed fine.

I am from a large family, and I am the oldest sibling, so I have been around kids and babies my whole life. I am most comfortable with kids and babies, because they are so honest and easy to understand and have very little stress in their lives, and I don't have to put on a front with them, like I do with pretty much everyone else. I don't have to hide my Aspie traits when I am around kids because they don't judge me for being different than all of the other adults around me. Since finding out about my Aspergers a few years ago, I have discovered ways to stim to help me cope with stressful situations and the easiest way for me to do that is with fidget toys, and I don't hide this anymore, like I used to. I don't care anymore what people in public may think of me when I use fidget toys, because they help me cope with life and trying to hide it or get thru life without them is too much added stress in my life.

I have collected quite a few and I keep a small collection with me in my purse. The 2 kids that I sit with at church know about my fidget toys and they love to play with them too, the girl especially. One week, she showed some of the toys to her friends who were sitting nearby, and they were fascinated by them. I think that my popularity is on the rise, but it isn't with people my own age. It is with kids who I already feel at ease with.Finding out about myself and being comfortable to be myself as an Aspie in public and not hide who I really am, has changed my life and given me new friendships, and maybe even a fan club of little kids. I will likely never be popular with girls in my own age group, but at least I have little people who like me and think that my fidget toys are cool and they like hanging out with me.

I have also found that older people like me too. When people reach the age where is it hard to get out of the house very much, they greatly appreciate having people stop by t0 visit and hang out with them. I have an older couple that I have recently been spending a lot of time with. They can offer a place to hang out and socialize on my schedule and their property is a calm and relaxing place for me. I can offer them assistance with certain things that they find hard to do some days, like keeping up with the dirty dishes and such. Some days I just go over and hang out on their couch and relax. They like having me there to talk to and we can watch TV together or whatever they are doing. It has become like a second home to me because I am always welcome there.