My Biggest Struggles
When I first found out that I was an Aspie, I was asked by a friend and professional in that field to come up with a list of my biggest struggles. This is the list that I wrote down and it is still accurate today. I may expound on these topics in future posts to explain them a bit more in depth.
The things that I struggle with the most:
* Putting on a front or act. This is supposed to be a big part of customer service and it just feels so fake and wrong to me. Also, greetings like "How are you doing today?" when you really don't care to know, or you know that they really don't care to know either. Small talk is also a struggle. I can have in depth conversations with people that I know, but I don't know what to do in a 30 to 90 second conversation with a stranger that I may never see again.
* Knowing if people really care about me and want to get to know me or are they just being polite. Do I try to work at building a friendship or just walk away? Kids eliminate that problem for the most part, because they don't hide their feelings about you, but adults have been trained to be polite, so it is much harder to tell.
* Reading social cues. I don't know what to do in most social situations. At work and in my normal life on my own, I have missions/jobs to accomplish, and I am good at figuring out ways to reach my goals, especially if no other people are in the equation. Social stuff is all about people and I am pretty much lost a lot of the time, so I don't get involved much in too many social groups. I try to do social stuff, but I often don't know if I am doing it right or not and I don't often have people around me who know my struggles and can tell me what to do. There are a few people in my life who know me well enough to help me with this, but most people don't know when I am struggling or how to help.
* Reading people's eyes or even looking into their eyes while I am talking. Sometimes I can look in their eyes while they are talking, even though that feels weird sometimes and often doesn't help me understand them any better. But, if I try to look at them while I am talking and trying to think about what I am saying, it is very distracting, and I can lose my train of thought. I am good at multitasking with things that take little or no thought, like organizing, so I can carry on an in-depth conversation while organizing clothes or organizing anything that is pretty much just hand-eye coordination, but making eye contact during that same conversation feels weird and distracts me.
* I am not an influential type of person. I can come up with lots of ideas and suggestions, but I struggle getting people on board with my ideas. I am still trying to find people who can take my ideas and put them into action, though a few people have been helpful in this area in the past.