Misunderstandings

Over the years of my life I have been misunderstood many more times than I can count. Most people don't understand how my brain works and they can get easily offended by what I say or how I say it, even when I didn't mean to hurt anyone. I have friends who know me well enough that even when I say things that other people could be offended at, they know my heart and intentions so well that they take it as how I intended it to be and they don't get offended. They understand me and I love and appreciate them for this.

Recently I heard someone talking about how this teenage boy had told his dad that he didn't like the dad's car because it handled differently when driving than his mom's car did. The steering was different, the pedals felt different, etc. The adults took these comments from the boy as speaking disrespectfully to his dad about the car because he didn't like it when compared to his mom's car, which he drove more often.

This is a prime example of things being misinterpreted because people don't understand the whole picture. I wasn't there to hear the tone in the boy's voice when he made the comments, but when I heard what he had said, my brain took a completely different interpretation of it that the parents did. I understood it as he likely didn't feel as safe driving a car that he wasn't used to because it felt different and he had to be more careful and aware of things, which made him uncomfortable and less safe with his own driving, which is a feeling that he doesn't like. This isn't disrespectful at all, in my opinion. It is simply stating a fact that he doesn't like feeling unsafe in driving different cars and as a young driver needs time to learn and get experience, especially when cars handle so differently from each other.

I have my own personal car which I am very used to. You could say that my brain is very much in sync with my car. I noticed quickly when things are different than normal and driving my car is very easy for me. Driving other cars can be difficult, at least at first. There have been a few times in the past when my car was in the shop for a few days and I had a rental car for a few days. The rental cars were brand new and very nice, but the age difference between that car and my own car was more than 10 years, which meant it handled very differently. The pedals were much more sensitive, along with many other differences. The cars were very nice, but I felt very uncomfortable driving them for the first few hours or days. I had to get used to how the new car felt and learn how it handled in all situations. Until I had learned these things, I didn't feel as safe in the new car as I did in my own car and that made me not like driving the new car. By the time I would get used to the new car, my own car would be fixed and I would adjust back to driving my own car again.

I have driven other people's cars which handle a lot differently than mine and I feel the same discomfort and unsafeness in those situations. I can usually work thru this, but it takes a lot of brain work, even with more than 20 years of personal driving experience. Driving other cars is very stressful for me, even when I drive my own all the time. Just imagine how overwhelming everything is for a new driver who is trying to take in so much new information all at once, especially in our fast paced world and all of the crazy and reckless drivers out on the road that we have to be careful around

I am the only person in my family that doesn't drive a stick shift because someone tried teaching me back when I was a new and inexperienced driver and it was too much for me to learn at the time because I was still new to driving in general and I wasn't really in sync with any car yet. I think I could learn it now, but I haven't had the opportunity and I am okay with only driving automatic cars.

This is just one example of how words can be misinterpreted because of not understanding everything, especially if the person talking is struggling to understand there own feelings and thoughts completely and therefore is also struggling to find the right way to communicate it to others. I struggle constantly with communication, which is why writing is easier than talking, because I can do it at my own pace and reword things as necessary. Each of my posts takes a while to write, but many hours more are spent in thinking and contemplation beforehand on how to put my thoughts and feelings into words that others will understand. Sometimes talking things out with a friend beforehand helps me to find the right words to write.

If you are easily offended by what people say or how they say it, please take the time to understand and learn about the people that you are talking to. You will most likely learn that they are not trying to be offensive at all, they are just communicating differently than you are and don't want to hurt you or anyone else. They are struggling and if you get offended quickly by them due to a misunderstanding, it may hinder them in the future from even trying to communicate at all, with you or anyone else, which will cause harm to everyone. Please be understanding and considerate. Thanks.