Aspie Empathy

Aspies are sometimes characterized as having little or no emotion. When in fact, we have a lot of emotions, we just have a hard time knowing how to show our emotions. We are not good at social cues, so we are often unsure of what others expect our reactions to be when we hear sad stories and know that people are hurting. We don't want to do or say the wrong thing, so we sometimes do nothing at all on the outside, even though we feel things on the inside. We also have trouble relating to things that we have not experienced ourselves, so even though we feel sad that someone is hurting, and we want to help them feel better, we don't always show it well.

But, when it comes to things that we have experienced before, empathy is something that we feel very strongly and right away. When I see another Aspie who I can tell is on the verge of an anxiety attack because things are not going smoothly, I feel it along with the person and I want to do everything that I can to help them and make their anxiety go away and take care of the situation myself so that they don't have to deal with it. When an Aspie friend tells me that they are struggling with friendships and are afraid of losing a close friend and being lonely, I feel their pain deep in my heart and I want to help and encourage that friend in any way that I can, even if I end up inadvertently going overboard in my efforts to help them. When an Aspie friend tells me that they have an event coming up that they have been asked to attend, but they are dreading that event because there will be lots of strangers there, I feel that dread in my own heart and I want to be there for that friend in any way that I can to help them, no matter what choice they make about attending or not attending the event. When an Aspie friend is stressed and over worked and on the verge of physical and mental break down, I feel it for that person and I want to help them in any way that I can, even if fixing things for them is out of my control.

Sometimes all I can do for those friends is pray for them and be there to listen and encourage and understand them and sometimes that is all that they need. Aspies don't often get this kind of understanding from others, so when someone understands and feels our pain and struggles, it helps in a special way. Someone who listens and hears and feels our pain along with us as we struggle thru our Aspie lives is an very valuable friend. We also share joy and fun together in a special way because we know and understand how hard it can be to find joy and fun while dealing with all of the stress and anxiety and depression and other mental problems that come with our Aspie traits. We share a common "thorn in the flesh" and that bonds us together in a special way.